Saturday, April 12, 2014

Male Bonding

Friday, April 11, 2014

Glad We Had That Talk

This morning I was getting my kids excited about their preschool Easter Egg Hunt, suggesting we eat all the candy at the playground after I pick them up this afternoon. Mister Man said that he should get four pieces of candy, since he is four, and Junior should get three pieces of candy, since he's three. Then he said, "But you're kind of old, so you should just get one piece. I don't want to waste my candy giving you so many." Mmmm-k. Little does he know that I have been pillaging his Halloween and Valentine's buckets for months. In fact, I used some of his existing candy from the pantry to fill the Easter Eggs that I sent back to preschool. I will accept my single offering of Easter Egg treat, knowing full and well that I ate all the good chocolate out of their stash long, long ago.

A few other goodies...

Mister Man: "Every girl--even moms--look beautiful to God. And all the boys look handsome to God. Even the boys with long hair."


Me: "You probably should take your monster truck down the slide, because it will get lost in the ball pit at the bottom."
Junior: "That's OK, I will get it with my laser eyes."

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Spring Pics

We made a parking lot out of painter's tape.

Library storytime craft

Face painting at a birthday party

He was a little upset. "Hey, I said I wanted Batman, not the Batman sign!"

Inaugural pool filling.

Rescue Bots ALL THE TIME.

We got a Ninja Turtle costume for Junior's birthday.

Mister Man upgraded to a booster seat in one of the cars.

Mud Party before dinner.

This guy likes to build castles out of Legos and is very verbal these days. This weekend I warned him not to take a monster truck onto a slide at a play place because it might get lost in the ball pit. "That's OK," he said. "I will just find it with my laser eyes."

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

The Flood

Last week I was sitting on the couch with Junior, sipping coffee, when I heard a strange noise coming from the kitchen. I couldn't decide if it sounded like water dripping or wrappers crunching. Assuming we had a rodent in the pantry, I texted Daniel to get him out of bed. "Scary noises in the kitchen. Please investigate."

He came sulking out of the bedroom, eyes squinted, and headed for a mug. Ummm... no honey. First thing's first. Go defend our home. Then you get your coffee.

He walked over to the pantry. Looked up and down. Shrugged his shoulders. Back to the sugar and half & half.

I sighed, assumed I was just being paranoid, and set off to feed the dog. As I walked through the laundry room to the garage, my feet splashed in water. I flipped on the lights and realized there was a small waterfall coming out of the light fixture. Before I electrocuted myself, I turned the switch back off and alerted my sweet, sleepy husband that I had found the source of the mystery noise. A small flood of sorts.

Daniel called a plumber friend who encouraged him to "open it up." You know, give the water a place to go. I wasn't feeling so confident when I saw him get on a ladder with a saw and start cutting out the sheet rock. I may have hinted that we should "wait for somebody else to come and do this." But of course he has testosterone and manly instincts where I only worry about aesthetics. A hole in the ceiling will do. It actually worked.

After an April Fool's Day visit from our insurance agent (see, we weren't joking!), an entire day without running water (we shut it off) and a survey by a plumber, it was determined we did not have a leaky pipe but instead a hole in the upstairs bathtub. The previous night's bath water had slowly dripped out all night long.

Now we are on a list to get the tub patched and the laundry room put back together. We also have a small rectangular hole cut out of our bonus room, where you can actually see the tub drip when it's turned on.

Yah for construction. And I am thankful it turned out to be a minor issue.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

How to Make a Whole Chicken

His final instructions were "Yes, organs and neck."

Then he asked me if I "chickened out." Why yes, yes I did. We had hamburgers instead.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Winning at Parenting

Lately I have been telling my children about these strange dreams I have been having. Dreams of buying a chocolate bar at a candy shop and finding a mysterious golden ticket inside the wrapper. Dreams of how that ticket gained me admittance to a castle of candy and games. A castle with flavored wallpaper you could lick. Geese that lay golden chocolate eggs. Chewing gum that tastes like an entire four course meal (watch out for the blueberry dessert). A room with bubbles and a strange sugary drink that makes you float up to the ceiling. Little orange men with green hair. A candy forest with giant gummy bears and a chocolate milk waterfall.

They are eating it up. Every day it's "tell us more about your Willy Wonka dreams!"

One day they will finally see the movie. I hope I am there to see the look of both confusion and realization on their faces.

Saturday, March 15, 2014


Today Mister Man invited me to play Candyland with him. I was on the phone with my Memaw, but I had a free hand so I said sure. About five moves into the game, I realized he had a secret. He totally stacked the deck against me. The little stinker was pulling specialty cards from the bottom of the stack to get himself closer to winning. Kind of smart for a kid so small. But I'm onto his tricks now. And we shared a good laugh.